Reality Is Often Disappointing
by KingofShallowynd
Summary: Monika emerges from a computer and begins attending a real-world American high school, only the computer isn't the protagonist's and the protagonist's love isn't Monika's. A look at what it would be like to actually struggle to form and EARN a relationship with the literature club president, instead of having it fall right into the main character's lap.
1. Chapter 1

The computer lab sat at the beginning of the hallway, right by the staircase. I strode through the wide-open door like usual, thinking nothing of today's meeting. My head was in the clouds. I had college applications to worry about, and my eyes didn't see the room when I walked in. My feet simply carried me to my workstation, step by step. There were people gathered in a circle at the front of the room, but I wasn't paying attention.

"Hello, Tyson," said Lewis, another boy in the computer club who was a friend of mine, but not like…a _close_ friend, or anything.

"'lo," I mumbled in response, booting up the PC. I would get that submarine through the maze today. I _would._

Lewis was small for a guy in his senior year, with ginger curls and freckles all over his pale face. He looked like your standard computer geek, minus the glasses. He tapped me on the arm, as if to get my attention.

"What?" I asked, sounding more irritable than I meant to.

Lewis's expression was a mixture of anxiety and excitement as he pointed to the front of the room, where many of the other club members were gathered in a circle. "Look," he whispered.

My heart skipped a beat or two when I saw who was standing there, introducing herself to our advisor. Many of the others, mostly guys, were gathered around her, introducing themselves as well.

"Yeah, it's Monika," I said to Lewis. "She's already been here three days. So what?"

Lewis leaned his head back in complete disbelief, as if I'd just suggested he kill his own cat or something. "Dude!" he exclaimed in a hushed tone. "It's _Monika!_ Here, in our club!"

"Don't act so shocked," I told him. "You should have used up all that on the first day." We'd all been shocked, to be sure. She had arrived in the morning at 8:25, the same time as everyone else, and went to classes under the guise of being a "new student." Of course, a quarter of the school had played Doki Doki Literature Club and another quarter had at least _heard_ of it, so word spread around that an anime girl was attending our school fairly quickly.

This was my first time getting a close look at her, however, as we didn't share any classes. I carefully gazed back in that direction, taking stock of the girl. She was dressed in a frilly white blouse and a red skirt, showing off as much of her tanned legs as possible without breaking dress codes. _Enjoying American public school, are we? No uniforms to wear here._ She had cut her hair a bit shorter, I supposed because the length it was in the game was not logistically feasible in reality. The trademark white bow was still there, though, and her eyes were the same piercing green. She didn't look Japanese, either. She looked like a California girl.

I grunted and swiveled my chair back around to my computer screen.

"Dude!" Lewis repeated annoyingly, still looking at me like _I_ was the one who'd suddenly popped up from a video game. "Shouldn't we go up and talk to her? We're the only two sitting down."

"Do what you like," I replied curtly. "I'll introduce myself when the time is right; it's a bit crowded up there."

"Yeah, but…" Lewis swiveled his chair back and forth, shuffling his feet on the floor. "I'm…nervous…"

"I wouldn't worry too much," I told him. "If the game is any guide, Monika is into losers. So you've got an even better chance than most."

Lewis narrowed his eyes. "I can't tell if you're calling me a loser, or _not_ a loser." Still, he got up anyway, grumbling to himself and heading towards the crowd.

As I opened my programming file, the software decided now was a GREAT time to perform some automatic updates, and I realized I'd be sitting here a while. Letting out a soft groan, I put my hands to my face and leaned back in the swivel chair, rotating from side to side a little. With my hands over my face, my eyesight was denied me, and almost instinctively my ears took over and perked up, becoming my dominant sense. I could hear the conversation in the front of the room.

"I'm Lewis," the idiot was saying.

"Monika," was her friendly, singsong response. "But you probably already knew that, haha~."

 _At least she knows the demographics of her own game,_ I think to myself, smirking. Was that why she'd come to the computer club? Because she knew she'd find people who recognized her here?

"Anyways, we're glad to have you, Monika," the club advisor, Mr. Fanning, said. "Take up any empty workstation and check out our software if you like." His voice was kind enough, but also professional. _He doesn't know her. He thinks she's a new student._ Fanning was not really a computer guy, but he'd agreed to be our advisor all the same back in freshmen year when me and a few others had wanted to start this up.

Curiously, none of the adults had recognized Monika at all, according to my close friend Daniel who shared several of her classes. I knew at least some adults had played DDLC, so maybe she had just gotten lucky so far? And all the students were keeping quiet as well…

 _It's only a matter of time before the government gets wind of this, right? Or Dan Salvato._ That was the part of the puzzle that interested me the most. When it inevitably happened, our school would become famous, and things would get a little more exciting around here for a while.

"Come sit next to me, Monika!" hooted Zach, another one of the idiots and also the most athletic and confident person in the club.

Monika laughed good-naturedly, and the sound came from much closer. I took my hands from my face and swiveled my chair around, facing the open area in the middle of the room. Sure enough, right as I blinked, she brushed past me to the computer on my right, the one between me and Heather that had previously been vacant.

"Mind if I sit here?"

I blinked before I realized she was asking me. "Oh, yeah, yeah, it's fine," I responded quickly with a wave of my hand.

Zach gave me a knowing smirk as he passed, which I returned back to him. The dude was about six feet tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a runner's build, so he couldn't have been feeling too great about Monika's choice to sit by me instead of him. If so, he hid it well, but I returned the smirk all the same.

The others all sat down at their own workstations, all in a grand arc around the center of the room. Jeffrey, with his collared rich-boy shirts and khakis, and glasses that always fell down his hooked nose. Aaron, the token Asian who was always knocking random things over in the lab. Toby, who weighed nearly 300 pounds and constantly sweated out of every orifice of his body. _My grand old pack of pals,_ I thought glumly. We numbered fifteen in all, but I supposed we were now sixteen with the addition of Monika. Speaking of which…

"What's your name? You're the only one I don't know yet," she said to me.

I swiveled around to look her in the eye. "Tyson," I answered, offering my hand. She glanced at it in confusion before taking it and shaking it. _Still not used to that, are we?_ I don't know why I was getting weird enjoyment out of seeing Monika do American things like wear normal clothes to school and shake hands, but here we are.

"Nice to meet you, Tyson," she declared, smiling. "I'm Monika."

 _She thinks I haven't played the game_ , I thought. _Because I didn't go up there, maybe?_ It was almost kind of funny. "I know who you are," I told her. "I've played the game and everything." No sense in keeping it to myself, I guess.

Monika overreacted to this, though. Her green eyes went wide in shock, and her cheeks flushed red. "Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't know, I should have realized…" Her voice got even lighter and more songlike when she was embarrassed, if that was possible.

"That's perfectly alright," I interrupted. "Now you know."

"Ah…yes, of course." Monika brushed some of her auburn hair back behind her shoulder, and fell back into a smile. _Must be her natural expression._ Although, if I'd managed to emerge from a two-dimensional void and into the real world, I supposed I'd be smiling all the time too, even three days later.

Heather sat down on the other side of Monika, taking off the winter hat she insisted on wearing all the time. "I see you've met Tyson," she said to the literature club girl. "I wouldn't get too friendly. He can be kind of a dick."

"Guilty as charged," I announced out of reflex, although Heather's comment did kind of sting a little. The truth was, I was never too sure how to interact with people, so I often defaulted to cold and distant. That wasn't the case all the time, though, since I had managed to make at least _some_ friends.

Heather could only marginally be counted as among those friends, however. With dark, straight hair that fell partially over her eyes of pale blue, she was pretty much the standard emo chick that hung out with us guys instead of her own gender. She was pretty much the only one in the club who had more wits than me, and she constantly made sure I remembered it. We had a nice rapport going, if truth be told, but I still don't know if I would consider her a close friend.

"So you two know each other?" I inquired innocently as I turned back to the computer screen. My software had finally finished updating.

"Yeah," Heather replied, over Monika's head. "She fell out of my computer over the weekend."

I freeze, my hand hovering over the mouse. _So she came out of Heather's computer, eh?_ "Hate when that happens," I called back after a pause, resuming my movement.

Monika was laughing fully in between us. "You two are so _funny_!" she exclaimed. "I knew coming here was a good idea, Heather. We should have done it before."

"Yeah, well, _my_ bad for trying to keep you from my sweaty geek friends. I do have to worry about your safety, you know."

Lewis had sat back down on my immediate left. "You're from Heather's version of the game?" he asked Monika, leaning around me to look at her. "How?"

"Ahahaha, it's a bit of a secret, I think…" Monika looked at Heather for confirmation, who nodded. "Sorry, Lewie. Top secret."

 _Very interesting._ I'm typing things into the code, so it looks my focus is in the program, but really, I'm listening to their conversation. _Monika came into the real world, expecting to land in the arms of the man of her dreams, but she got Heather instead._ That would have been funny to witness. _Even so, this is highly irregular, if DDLC fanfictions are of any guide._ It was always a boy that Monika first met when she emerged into reality, not a girl. _Doesn't this mean…she's single?_ Without the boy there to greet her, she wasn't in a relationship, unless Heather was on _that_ side of the fence.

Lewis did not fail to come to this conclusion, either, as evident by his facial expression. _I_ certainly wasn't going to say anything about it, but he was more of a wild card, so I shot him a glare that said, _don't._

Lewis met my gaze, and then shut his mouth in cold discomfort. He leaned back forward and focused on his screen.

"Anyway, I'm glad we took the risk to come here," Monika said to Heather. "Now I can figure things out." She was opening up our programming software, I noticed.

"Figure what things out?" I asked, although I already knew.

"Programming," explained Monika. "I want to understand…well, myself. And how this is all happening. How I exist, both there…and here."

"I could teach y…" Lewis began.

"I don't think you'll find answers to _that_ in school-level programming software," I joked, interrupting. "Maybe try the philosophy club?"

Monika laughed, and I felt a rush of triumph. _Don't get carried away, now._

Heather was less receptive. "The philosophy club that we _don't_ have? Come on, Tyson, I expect better from you at this point."

"What a coincidence," I replied. "I don't expect anything at all from you."

Monika inhaled a rattly breath, and kept laughing, harder this time. "Goodness," she said after she'd calmed a bit, wiping a tear from her eye. "It is so good to be around…humans. I love this."

 _Yes,_ I thought to myself, _but do you love…someone, yet?_


	2. Chapter 2

On Tuesday, I was one of the first in the computer lab. Club meetings were Tuesdays and Thursdays, so it had been five days since Monika's arrival in the club, and nine since she had shown up at the school.

Daniel, my best friend, was one of the few already sitting down inside, his desk being at the end of the arc closest to the door. "What's up, Tyson," he mumbled, glancing out of the corner of his eye at me.

"Afternoon," I replied. Daniel was Indian, with shaggy brown hair and baggy clothes. His most striking feature was the fancy black watch he wore on his left wrist. He was often grumpy and cynical, like myself, so in a way it was kind of a miracle that we got along so well.

Daniel paused what he was doing and swiveled around to face me. He inhaled, and then said "First meeting with Monika," with a weary smile. He hadn't been at the last meeting.

I glanced him up and down; there were visible shadows under his eyes. "You're not getting enough sleep," I observed.

"College applications," was his answer. "I'm taking a break tonight, though. Gonna go buy a fish at Petco. You wanna tag along?"

"A fish?" I raised an eyebrow. "Alright. Sure, why not." Petco could be fun, if only to see what kind of kittens they had up for adoption and seeing the ball pythons lounging in their humid tanks.

"Yeah, I need help picking out which one to choose. There's a lot of options, you see."

"I do see." Normally, we would go grab food or something after a club meeting, but an unusual errand would be just as fulfilling in its own way. _Maybe I'll actually have an answer for my parents tonight when they ask "What did you do today, sweetie?" "I helped Daniel buy a fish."_

I moved to sit down, and greeted Lewis briefly before opening my program. I was still getting used to the programming language, and was currently practicing by inputting commands into a game, trying to guide a submarine through an underwater maze. It was incredibly frustrating, and I had barely gotten anything done last meeting after getting caught up in the excitement.

Zach, Jeffrey, Heather, and the rest came in soon after, Monika trailing behind Heather with an oddly dreamlike expression on her face. When she was Daniel, though, she lit up into a smile.

"Oh, hello, Daniel!" she greeted. "I didn't know you were in this club." Monika was wearing jeans and a hoodie, obviously some of Heather's clothes, but they were a little too small for someone with her proportions, and her curves were very evident. I gulped and looked at the floor.

"Hey, Monika," Daniel answered, giving her the same weary expression he'd given me. "Yeah, I had to go home and do a, um, family thing last Thursday."

 _Right, they have classes together._ Knowing Monika, of course she had made an effort to get to know everyone in her classes, or at least learn their names. So what was this uncomfortable feeling I was getting in my gut?

"Say, Monika," said Daniel, rubbing his hands together in an over-exaggerated manner. "Would you like to come to _Petco_ with me and Tyson? We're picking out a _fish!"_ He said it with a tone of excitement that far surpassed the actual content of the errand, I assumed as a joke.

Monika giggled, as expected. "Daniel, are you asking me on a date this early?"

Daniel flushed red, and his eyes shot wide open in panic. Zach snickered loudly from a few seats down. "N-n-n-no, I…" Daniel stammered. "It's just a…it's just an outing…we often g-go out as a group after m-meetings…Tyson's going too, after all…" He glanced at me with pleading eyes.

I waved at Monika. "Hello," I called to her, indicating that I do, in fact, exist.

Monika blinked at me for a moment, and it seemed like her cheeks had flushed red as well. "Right, of course," she muttered. "I was just teasing you, aha~." She was back up into a smile in an instant, facing Daniel. "A group outing, huh? That sounds…wonderful…what's Petco?"

"It's a…" Daniel began.

"Pet store," interrupted Heather, coming in from behind. "And you can't go. Sorry, Monika."

 _Oof,_ I thought, grimacing. Daniel had an entirely different expression of panic now, and Monika wheeled around on her female companion, looking furious. "Hey, that's not fair! You told me we were going to do more fun stuff with your friends! A group outing is…just the thing I need…" for a moment, Monika looked extremely depressed.

"You can come too, Heather, if you like," said Daniel. "The more the merrier."

Heather glared at me, as if this was all somehow _my_ fault. _You can't protect her forever,_ I thought. _She's a person now. You can't own a person._

"Fine," Heather mumbled, moving to her seat, and Monika practically jumped for joy. "Hooray! A fish, you said? Picking out a fish…" she mused. "Maybe I could get something too?"

"No," Heather called. "And I'm _not_ changing my mind on that one."

"Wait, where are we going?" asked nosy, clumsy, Aaron, swiveling around from his work station on the far side.

"Petco," I explained over Lewis's head as Monika sat down next to me. "We're buying Daniel a fish."

"So _boring_ ," Zach drawled, on the other side of Heather. "Don't you guys ever do something that's actually fun?"

"What, like receiving blowjobs in the Sonic parking lot?" Heather inquired tauntingly, referring to an incident last year. "If you want to come to Petco too, Zach, just say the word."

Zak's face darkened sharply and he turned back to face his computer, muttering. Monika giggled.

Then things went quiet. For a while, all that could be heard was the typing of keys and clicking of mice. I was very conscious of Monika sitting next to me, and the sweet scent coming from her hair…

"So," I said, breaking the silence, "The school allows you to join two clubs. Have you decided on another?"

Monika laughed. "Tyson, I thought you said you'd played the game."

 _Oh._ I swallowed back the embarrassment, fighting to keep the heat from rushing to my cheeks. "Right, of course," I said quickly. "Just making a joke. You know, I've never actually seen our literature club. Is it any good?"

Monika chewed on that for a moment. "Well, we don't share poems, but…any club that's real is good enough for me." She closed her green eyes contentedly and smiled.

 _You might want to raise those standards, honey,_ I thought, _if you want to survive in the real world. You can't just accept whatever's given to you._ I didn't vocalize this, however.

Soon, it was time to go, and we all walked out of the lab and down the hallway as a spread-out group. Jeffrey went on far ahead of us, talking to someone on the phone very rapidly. Zach passed me by, jingling his keys. "Alright, Petco," he declared loudly. "Who's riding with me?"

"Umm…" No one said anything. Then Heather shrugged. "I guess I need a ride. Me and Monika both."

Right, of course. Heather lived just down the street from the school, so she walked to and from and didn't bring a vehicle. Petco, however, was on the other side of town.

I opened my mouth, and then closed it. _Whew._ I had almost just instinctively protested against Monika going with Zach. _It's naught to me,_ I told myself.

"I have a vehicle," Daniel announced, "and so does Tyson. Just saying."

Heather blinked. "I'll take my chances."

"Tyson, can I go with you?" It was Aaron, struggling to keep his old, worn-out messenger bag strung over his shoulder. "Yeah, sure," I responded. I had enough seats for three besides myself, but I doubted I would get any more takers.

Daniel was looking past me, towards my other side. "It's okay, Lewis. You can come with me if you want."

Lewis hadn't asked to go, but I glanced over at him and it was obvious that he wanted to. He pushed a pale hand through his red curls. "Alright. Thanks, Daniel."

We left the school and reached the parking lot. Daniel and Lewis began heading towards Daniel's car, a little, plain white thing that only fit four people on paper.

As they departed, Aaron said, "Wait. We never decided who Heather and Monika are going with."

"Yeah, we did…" Heather raised an eyebrow. "I thought we were going with Zach."

Zach grinned and lifted his keys, sounding the beeper on his truck. "You have a _truck_?" Monika gasped, her mouth wide open.

Zach's insolent smirk grew even wider. "Yup," he replied smugly. "A '95 Toyota."

 _Toyota means nothing to her, you dolt,_ I thought angrily. Why was I so _angry?_

"That only fits two people," Heather observed. "What, am I riding in the bed like I'm your side chick?"

That earned a laugh from Aaron, but Zach look concerned. "Oh, um, well…" he obviously wanted to take Monika alone.

 _Now's my chance._ "Heather, you don't want to ride with me, so c'mon, Monika," I said, gesturing to Aaron and heading east, to where my car was parked.

Zach made a noise of protest, and Monika glanced back and forth between me and Heather rapidly. _I've forced a decision on her._ For a moment, I feared she would panic and just go with her first option, but then Heather saved me.

"You know me so well, Tyson," she said. "Let's go, Zach."

Unable to do anything, Zach sighed with narrowed eyes and the two of them walked toward his truck. Monika slowly began following Aaron and me.

"What's this car?" Monika asked when I pressed the unlock button and the lights flashed.

"A Subaru," I replied, even though it would be lost on her. A super responsive vehicle, even if I felt like a soccer mom while driving it. _She would rather the truck, I assume._ "Is this your first time in a car?" I asked her.

"No," she said as I opened the driver's side door and climbed in. "We went shopping last weekend, for… stuff." She blushed.

I only nodded, not one to pry into whatever Heather and Monika might have been shopping for.

Aaron and Monika were just kind of standing there, staring at me sitting in my own car. "What's this?" I demanded. "Get in, fight for shotgun, do a flip, _something._ Don't just stand around."

That earned a laugh from both of them, thankfully, and then Aaron climbed into the back. Monika bit her lip, not following him. "Umm…is it okay if I sit in the front, Tyson?" she asked. "Or do we need to both be in the back…"

"Please no," I responded to her second offer. "I'm not y'alls chauffeur."

Luckily, she got the message and walked around the car, getting into the front passenger seat. All of a sudden, my heart was pounding, and I became very conscious of how my car's interior looked. _There's trash in the back._ Hopefully Aaron wouldn't comment on it. I _guess_ the car smelled okay, although I was so used to it that it was impossible to tell.

I turned the ignition and we were off, heading out of the parking lot and down School Street, towards the highway. Monika turned around in her seat and glanced at Aaron. "Are you Japanese?" she asked innocently.

I raised an eyebrow.

"No," Aaron responded. "Korean." He jerked his head, flipping his boy band-style bangs off of his face. I rolled my eyes. Aaron was a junior, a year below us, and often behaved in this manner.

"That's cool," Monika told him, nodding. "What about you, Tyson? Where are you from?"

"Umm…" I didn't have a particular answer to that. "America…?"

They both laughed, Aaron's harsh and grating, Monika's pleasant and musical. "No, no," she said, smiling. "I mean your country of origin. You have blonde hair and blue eyes. Are you Scandinavian?"

I furrowed my brow. "I don't think so." I seemed to remember my parents saying our family had come over from England. "England, I think. Take that with a grain of salt."

Monika nodded. "I think I'm meant to be from eastern Europe, or something, even though I lived in Japan in the game. It wasn't _really_ Japan though, not truly. I'd like to see the real thing, someday." She got a wistful look in her eye.

"Isn't there a club doing a field trip to Japan?" Aaron asked no one in particular.

"Yeah, in like, 2020," I answered. "We'll be long gone by then."

"Right," Aaron muttered.

A few minutes later, we were pulling into the Petco parking lot.

 **Author's Note:**

Ouch, this was longer than I expected. I meant to have the entire Petco visit in this chapter as well, but I guess it will be chapter 3. Anyway, thanks for all the feedback on chapter 1, and thanks for checking out the story! I don't really have a specific plan for plot points besides what's already in the description, so expect a lot of random developments, like a visit to Petco, for example. Hopefully that will give it some flavor you wouldn't get elsewhere…stay tuned!


	3. Chapter 3

The doors to the store slid open, and our ragtag group stepped inside. One of the Petco employees was standing just past the entrance mat, in front of the aisles. An old lady, likely the manager. She glanced over and gave us the stink-eye before moving on to speak with a younger male employee off to the right.

"What's with that?" Zach complained, too loudly. "As if we're just rowdy teenagers in here to cause trouble."

"It's a safe bet with you," retorted Heather.

Zach snorted. "Whatever. I'm going to buy some food for my dog, while we're here." He set off into the maze of aisles.

Aaron and I followed Daniel to the end of the aquarium supplies aisle, a bit far from the actual fish tanks. "Hey, wait, um…" Aaron began.

"I know what you mean to say," Daniel interrupted, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "I'm not getting one of the fish from the tanks. I want a betta fish. The males are extremely territorial, and have to be kept separately or they'll fight each other. So they have them in these little containers." He gestured to the shelves at the end of the aisle, which were covered in fish bowls that looked like grocery store ice cream cartons, except they were transparent and filled with water. Inside were all varieties and colors of little fish, one in each container, with slender bodies and extravagant fins. They darted around their miniscule prisons, back and forth in circles.

Aaron stood on his tiptoes and looked at the top of the cartons. "They have an air hole at the top," he observed. "Why? Fish don't breathe air."

"Betta fish can," Daniel explained. "Along with gills, they have an extra organ that allows them to."

"Don't you have to be eighteen to buy one, anyway?" I asked, not looking up from my phone. "Your birthday isn't until February."

Daniel shrugged. "All I have to do is not say anything. Rita says she bought one last week, and didn't get carded by the cashier. And she _looks_ younger than me."

"Didn't get carded, huh?" I mused, glancing sidelong back to the front of the store, where a lone cashier sits at the only open checkout aisle. Chewing gum loudly, she's a bored-looking twenty something with her elbow on the counter, resting her chin on her fist. She looks like she dropped out of college. "You might have a point," I said. "Sometimes I forget that everyone cares less than I do."

"Are you kidding?" Daniel narrowed his eyes dryly. "Tyson, there's no one that cares less than you do."

 _Ouch._ I felt random itchy spots tingle on my back, as often happens when I get embarrassed. _Bloody hell, Daniel, did you have to be that harsh about it?_ But it was too late, they'd moved on, Daniel was showing Aaron all the different types of betta fish they have, and they'd forgotten me. I sighed and walked down the aquarium supplies aisle, away from them.

 _Daniel didn't really mean anything by it,_ I told myself. It was true that I put on a show of being cold and nonchalant, but it was just for my own protection. _I won't allow myself to be messed with and manipulated ever again._ And besides, Daniel was still my friend in spite of all that, wasn't he? Or was this a subtle hint that he wanted me to change?

I had clenched my fists and ground my teeth together without realizing it. Relaxing with an exhale, I found myself staring right at the fish tanks that lined the back corner of the store.

I looked around. There was no one in sight. I could hear my friends scattered about the building, looking at and commenting on various things, but I was masked from their sight by distance and the obstruction of all the aisles.

This is why I liked stores and supermarkets. If they weren't crowded, you could lose yourself in a spot and be completely alone. It felt safe, comfortable even, to be here at the tanks. Like my batteries were being recharged.

I stared at one of the fish swimming around in front of me, a decently-sized creature with dark blue coloring. The fish stared back. "I'm glad you can't speak," I mumbled.

"What was that?" A feminine voice from behind me.

"EEK!" I practically jumped out of my skin, my feet hitting the tile floor again with a shrill squeak. I whirled as I landed, turning to face the person. "N-nothing! I didn't say anyth…" I realized who it was, and my flustered, panicked state quickly spiked, before I suppressed it with all my willpower as instantly as possible. I sunk my face into a weary expression.

Monika put her hands on her hips. "Hey, what's with that face? Why am I getting 'Oh, of _course_ it's her' vibes from it, and not, 'Oh no, it's _her!'_ vibes from it? That's what you're thinking, isn't it, Tyson?"

"Not in the slightest," I grumbled, slinking past her. "You just spooked me, that's all. Refrain from doing it again, thanks."

"Rude, rude, rude again!" Monika exclaimed, following me as I walked past the tanks. "I don't get it. You wanted to give me a ride here, I know that much. I may not know everything about Earth, but I'm not an idiot, Tyson…"

"My last name's Lancaster," I offered over my shoulder.

"Right, like I was saying, I'm not an _idiot,_ Tyson Lancaster!" Monika finishes without skipping a beat.

"I never thought you were," I said, stopping to stare at a large tank at the end of the row.

"Well, it certainly doesn't _feel_ like i…" Monika stopped and followed my gaze, to the same tank. "Whoa," she muttered, disquieted.

Dozens of orange fish were swimming around the tank, but for every one that swam freely, there were two more that were either floating dead on their backs or decaying down to the bone at the tank's bottom. Several of the living fish were feeding on the dead comrades, crowded around their corpses like vultures.

"You said you don't know much about Earth?" I asked her. "Here's a lesson. This is how Earth works. These fish lived together in this tank in peace, but once a fish dies, the others don't hesitate to take advantage of it. Humans… _real_ humans…they're not angels with quirky, adorable personalities like Sayori or Yuri or Natsuki. Humans are liars, who will claim to have your back until you fall from grace, and then they take what they can to benefit themselves."

Monika's face had fallen into shadow. "I know that," she mumbled. "I know all about manipulation."

Suddenly, as I stared at her, fear crept into my heart, and a weird rumbling feeling went rushing through my nerves. _This is a dangerous girl,_ I reminded myself. For all my attempts to act cool around her and impress her, I'd forgotten the most basic aspect of her presence here. _She killed people, or at least programs that thought they were people, to get to this point._ It was something that had hung at the back of my mind for a while, but I had refused to acknowledge it.

"My bad, then," I said quickly, attempting to nullify the tension. "I suppose I shouldn't try and mansplain things to you anyway. You are very smart, like you said."

Monika sniffed. "Right," she said, bringing her green eyes up to meet mine for a brief second before looking back down again.

I looked her up and down once more before turning and continuing my walk down the aisles. Surprisingly, she was still following me. "By the way, there's nothing to blame the fish for," I called behind me. "Those are just the instincts built into their brains. Survival instincts. We have them too, only now in modern times we use them in social interactions instead of physical ones."

"And you think there's nothing we can do about it, I suppose?" Monika grumbled the question, but it had an edge of challenge to it.

I blinked. "Completely false. If people have made it this far, then we can leap even further and break free of the chains that our survival instincts hold us in. We don't need them anymore, after all. They're a drag on society."

Monika's face seemed to relax then. "You have a different worldview than I was expecting," she muttered. Then she brightened up a little. "But you don't have to use such big words and poetic language all the time. You're smart enough on your own without it, so there's no need to keep trying to impress me." She leaned forward slightly and brushed on ahead past me, giving me a smug look.

I felt the heat rush to my face and glared at the floor. _She really is a teaser, isn't she?_ I thought of a comeback then, but now it was too late and she was far ahead. _Next time she tries to tease me, I'll retort quickly,_ I promised myself, rushing to catch up with her.

We were now at the reptile section, and we found Lewis standing there, looking into one of the humid, sleepy tanks of the ball pythons. He must have seen our movement out of the corner of his eye, or in the reflection of the glass, because he glanced over, and instantly did the same thing I had when Monika had come up behind me, making an even louder "EEK!"

Monika giggled primly, putting a hand over the top of her mouth. "My, my, Lewis, you'll stare down some snakes, but get frightened by a silly old girl like me?"

"Y-y-yes, Monika," Lewis stammered, before realizing his mistake. His eyes shot wide open. "I mean, NO! I mean, um…"

I walked up to the tank and stared at the python, all constricted and wrapped up between his little fake cave and the wall of the tank. His dark, unblinking void of an eye stared back. "You like snakes, Lewis?" I inquired, not taking my eyes off the specimen.

"Ah, um, yes…" I heard his voice give that shaky answer.

"Hmm." I gave it another second, before stepping away. "I don't like them," I declared. "He looks like he's plotting my death."

"Can't say I blame him," Monika said with a cheeky grin. I opened my mouth, then closed it. _Dammit, breaking my promise already._

Lewis had moved on around the corner, to the chameleon tank. He seemed to sigh in despair. "I can't find him anywhere."

Monika leaned down and sat on her heels, getting at eye level with the tank, scanning all the leaves and little branches. "Perhaps someone bought him," she said, "Or maybe he's just very good at his work."

We met back up with Zach in the central aisle, and then found Aaron, laughing at the guinea pigs. "They're fighting!" he exclaimed. "Meanwhile, this other one's just in the corner like he's having war flashbacks, haha."

"Where's Daniel?" I asked. "You were with him earlier."

Aaron looked up from the guinea pig tank, seeming almost annoyed that I had asked the question. "He's at the counter, paying for his fish," he said brusquely, before going back to laughing at the rodents.

"Don't be too much longer. Meet up with us at the front," I told him before we walked back towards the front of the store.

"Did you find your dog food?" Monika asked Zach with a pleasant smile.

"Yep." He smirked, and lifted up a huge, industrial-looking bag of the stuff, with just one arm. His muscles flexed visibly. I saw Monika's cheeks grow slightly red, and she made a little noise. My fists clenched again without my permission.

Monika seemed to regain her composure quickly, though. "What kind of dog do you have?" she asked.

"Huskie. He's the sort they use in the sled races, up in Alaska," Zach said proudly.

"I know Huskies! They're really quite cute," said Monika. "What's his name? Maybe I could meet him someday."

Zach's grin widened, and my frown worsened. "Scout's his name," Zach said. "And it would be great if you could meet him."

"Hey, where's Heather?" I asked loudly, interrupting them.

Monika's smile fell and she looked around in a circle, confused. "I don't know…"

We found her at the kitten cages.

"Hey, hey, hey," Heather was cooing, poking her finger through the rings of metal. Two kittens were inside, a black one and an orange one. The black one was hanging back a little, visibly frightened, but the orange one was grappling at Heather's finger with its little paws, trying to grab and play.

Lewis stepped forward, and Monika opened her mouth, but I raised my arm quickly as a halt command, and everyone went silent. I smirked to myself. _I'm never letting her forget this._

Heather continued to wiggle her finger around in the cage, faster and faster. The little kitten's eyes rolled all over, trying to follow it, until it tripped over its own paws and rolled, showing its furry belly and still trying to grab at her finger, now upside-down. Heather giggled, her eyes closed in contentment.

"Alright, stop right there," I announced. "I don't think I can bear to watch you torture the poor thing any longer."

Heather must have leapt eight feet into the air. She shrieked in panic and whirled around at us. Zach clapped slowly, laughing. For once, I approved of his behavior.

Heather looked at each of us in turn, her mouth open in shock, before her face went completely red, and she got _mad._ So mad she couldn't speak. "You…you…y…" she looked right at me, stammering in fury. "UGH!" She stormed past us in a huff.

Monika was laughing too, and even Lewis tittered nervously. I stepped forward to the kittens, and gave the orange one a stroke on the head. "You did well, soldier," I told it. Then I looked at the black one, cowering near the back of the cage. "You too," I said. "Recognizing her as a threat was a brilliant notion. I would have done the same, sir."

We met back up with Daniel, now armed with a carton containing a rose-gold betta fish, with fluttery, graceful fins. "He's a pretty boy," I observed. "Don't let it go to his head." David laughed. _He doesn't seem to be mad at me, at least._

Aaron, however, was a different story. I had no idea what I even did to make him so grumpy, but he chose to ride back with Daniel and Lewis, in Daniel's cramped back seat. He claimed it was just to keep the fish company, but I didn't really believe that.

It was only when I had walked all the way across the parking lot, unlocked my car, and nearly stepped in, that I realized Monika was riding back alone with me.

"Is it your turn to do a flip?" she asked, tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for me to unlock the passenger's side.

This time, I was ready. "No, it's not. You still owe me one."

"Sorry to disappoint," she replied as we climbed in together. "I'm not _that_ perfect, I'm afraid."

We shared a brief bout of laughter as I started up the car, but as I pulled out the parking lot Monika's face fell. "You were wrong about those three, by the way," she mumbled.

I shivered all of a sudden. "What are you on about? Which three?"

"Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki."

It was exactly what I had feared to hear. "I, uh…" My mouth felt really dry now. "I didn't figure it was a good thing to bring that up."

"You and so many others," Monika said, laughing bitterly. "I know I have crazed fans, obsessive weeaboos slobbering over me. They'd rather ignore all my problems if they could. A few of them were just at that store with us, and there's more at the school."

"Are Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki your _problems_?" I asked incredulously. "That seems kinda…"

"I know, I know," Monika interrupted. "My point is that you were wrong about them being angels. Did you play the game or didn't you? Sayori was suicidal, Natsuki had a terrible home life, and Yuri enjoyed cutting her skin open almost as much as she enjoyed reading books."

"I did play the game," I reinforced. "And Sayori wasn't anything. Natsuki didn't have a life. Yuri didn't enjoy anything. They couldn't feel, live, or enjoy, because they weren't _real._ They were collections of code and dialogue written by some white guy from New Jersey. That's what you were, too, for all your talk inside the game of being more. I don't understand the magic, or the science, or whatever it was that brought you here, so maybe it's not my place to say. Maybe they could be brought into reality too, just like you were, and then I _would_ be wrong, because they'd be living and enjoying and feeling…"

"No," Monika almost whispered. "They can't come. It doesn't work like that."

There was a moment of silence. "Well, alright, then," I finally said. "If you say it's like that, then it's like that. I'm not going to pretend to understand. What exactly is it that you want from me? Do you want me to ignore your problems like the others you mentioned, or would you rather me hate you?"

Monika looked utterly lost. "Are those…are those truly the only two options?"

Another moment of silence. Then I sighed. "I guess not."

She brightened up a little at this. "My first impression of you was incorrect," she said. "You seemed so smart, and Heather told me you were a dick, and she told me some of the things you've said in the past…so I kind of believed her. But…it's not often you find a smart person willing to say they were wrong. Your emotional honesty is very refreshing."

My first thought was, _ouch. What exactly has Heather been telling her?_ And my second thought was, _Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god._ I could tell my ears were growing red, but I stayed very focused on the road in front of me. We turned right at a stoplight.

"What, nothing to say?" Monika shot out. "You must not get compliments from pretty girls often."

"Nope, just insults from average ones."

"Wow, rude! I'm gonna tell Heather you said that." Monika pouted, very cutely.

"Thanks, by the way," I mumbled.

Monika smiled, her eyes alight with emerald fire. "We're friends, then?" she asked.

"Yes," I responded, not too quickly and not too slowly. "Friends."


	4. Chapter 4

The air grew cooler and cooler with every passing day, as autumn reared its timid head. Today in particular was cold, but sunny, one of my favorite sorts of weather. I pulled into my parking spot twenty minutes before the first bell, making sure I was within the lines, and clambered out, heading towards the entrance to the building.

There were several groupings of benches outside my high school, where students liked to hang out before going to class. It was only 55 degrees in Fahrenheit, so many had just gone straight inside, but there was still a decent crowd. As I walked forward, I found out why.

Monika was standing there, surrounded by girls and a few boys. They were all talking about the weather and how people did on the last test and the upcoming football game…normal things for students to be talking about. I gave Monika a passing glance, a little longer than I meant to, and saw she was wearing a cream-colored turtleneck that hugged her upper half quite tightly, and black leggings.

Monika made eye contact with me, and I tried to walk past them and go inside, but she had already called "TYSON!"

 _Oh, bugger me with a bloody yardstick._ I forced a smile and walked over, giving an awkward wave. "Good morning!" Monika greeted with a bounce.

"Good morning," I returned, half through gritted teeth. The people currently surrounding Monika were girls from choir or dance team or the cheer squad, with a few football players tossed in. Most of them were taller than me, and a few stared at me as if to say, _Who the hell are you? What are you doing talking to a pretty girl like her?_

"Do you guys know Tyson?" Monika asked, specifically to the two girls and boy nearest to her, while the rest of the group had broken up into smaller conversations.

"Yes," said Rachel, glaring at me. "Loosely."

I sneered silently in response. Rachel was a fit white girl on the cheer squad with ribbons in her hair, not unlike Monika's bow, although Monika was much prettier in my _personal_ opinion. She had had a few classes with me in years past, when I may or may not have established myself as a bit of an asshole. _But that's in the past, okay?_

"Yeah, Tyson's real smart. He's got his name up on the banners on the staircase, for doing good on the ACT," said Jake, the boy who was there. He was on the football team, an utter egghead who I couldn't recall speaking to personally since maybe the fourth grade.

Monika looked at me pointedly, as if she even knew what the ACT was. "I'll explain later," I mumbled.

"Later?" Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Oh, right, you're in the computer club. I forgot." She waved a dismissive hand.

"You should join cheer squad, Monika!" cried the other girl, a Hispanic underclassman named Isabel who was always sucking up to the older girls. "We have so much fun, and you'd fit right in…you're so pretty, and athletic…you'd be just who we need."

"It's like you're a savior of a new kid," joked Rachel. "I swear I've seen this in movies."

As Monika was in the midst of politely rejecting their offer, I steamed quietly to myself. _You aren't smart, Isabel. I got the message. 'Ditch the computer club, Monika.'_ The idiots at this school weren't like they were in anime, where they _openly_ showed disgust to the lower tier losers like my friends and me. It was more like we were ignored, and if they _did_ have to interact with us, they would show mild irritation and then talk about us behind our backs. Girls and boys alike, it didn't matter.

What was more interesting, though, was that these girls referred to Monika as just a new kid. _It seems she's just instantly popular due to her striking looks…not because they know she is from a video game._ I mean, it made sense. The popular circles were too busy practicing sports, playing sports, going to parties, and sitting on Snapchat to have time to play a weeb visual novel off Steam. At the same time though, word had been spreading pretty quickly… _who knows. It doesn't matter, anyway._ Monika was probably happier that they were accepting her for _her_ , even if it was as shallow as looks. _Us 'losers' can't necessarily say that we're doing the same._ I admitted to myself that if Monika had just shown up as a new kid, and DDLC never existed, that I would have just assumed she was another basic uppity girl and dismissed her. _By that logic, if she starts choosing to hang out with this crowd instead of us, well…I understand._

"See you later, Monika," I said, taking a step to depart.

"'Bye, Tyson," she replied, suddenly grabbing my arm and giving it a parting squeeze. My heart leapt, annoyingly enough.

"…yeah, bye," I echoed stupidly, slurring my speech and breaking away from her. I swear I saw disappointment flash across her emerald eyes, but then it was gone as soon as it came, and she went back to talking to her new friends.

As I walked through the hall to my first class, I ran into Lewis, and he took pause. "What's the matter, Tyson?"

I almost tripped over myself at the shock of being spoken to. "Nothing," I said quickly, confused.

Lewis shifted his eyes nervously. "Okay, well, you just looked extremely pissed off, so…" He walked away.

I looked down at my hands. They were clenched into fists. How fast had I been walking? What was I even angry about? _There's nothing to be angry about, dude. Nothing._

After that, school kind of just floated by. I was really just waiting to get back to the computer lab. That was my singular focus.

When I arrived, though, Heather was waiting for me, her hands on her hips. "Tyson, do you mind explaining this?" she demanded, gesturing to her workstation.

I blinked. "Looks like code. It's like, program instructions, for a computer."

"I know what code is, you dimwit," Heather drawled, her voice dripping with contempt. "Does it look familiar to you, pray?"

I leaned in and squinted at the screen. "Hey, that's my code!" I exclaimed. "Why is it on your computer?"

"That's what I was hoping you would explain to me," said Heather.

"Uh, just a second," I mumbled, breaking past her to log into my own computer, not sitting down. The program opened up, and sure enough, the code on my own system was completely unrecognizable. I'd never seen it before.

"This yours?" I asked back over my shoulder to Heather.

She leaned over me, kind of closer than I expected. Suddenly, I felt heat rushing to my cheeks. _Please hurry up._

"Yeah!" she snapped, indignant. "How the hell did this happen?"

"It wasn't me," I said. Heather stood up tall and crossed her arms, glaring into my eyes. "It _wasn't_ ," I repeated defensively.

"Okay, well, we're switching computers. I can't be bothered to switch the files back right now, without a flash drive."

"You could always just email me mine, and I could email you yours back…"

"I don't want you having any of my contact info."

"Aww, you flatter me." I sat down at Heather's computer all the same, feeling a little hurt on the inside. She sat down at mine.

When Monika came in, she plopped herself between us with a knowing smile. "Hmm…" she mused aloud. "Something doesn't feel right."

"Tyson's fly is unzipped. That's what you detect," proclaimed Heather.

"Not for you it isn't," I retorted.

Monika laughed musically, and then asked, "Why are you guys on opposite sides of me than usual?"

"It's for your own benefit, Monika," I explained. "The aircon vent is over here, so now Heather isn't upwind of you anymore. You won't have to deal with her stench."

"Wild words, coming from a guy who took a shower a week in middle school," Heather shot back.

"It was _twice_ a week," I corrected, pretending to sound offended. Monika laughed again. "Tyson, even if the thing about the vent was true, I would still smell Heather all the time. We live together, remember?"

"Wow, really? I had no idea. I wish you two well in your married life."

"I'm very sorry about him," Heather told her. "What really happened is our code got switched between computers. Someone playing a prank, probably."

Heather was speaking lightly, but Monika's face suddenly grew dark. "Something funny happening with code…" she murmured. "Not good."

There was an awkward pause. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

"Ah, well…" Heather said sheepishly. "I'm sure it's nothing. You don't need to worry, Monika."

"I'll worry if I want to worry," Monika shot back. "We're still not sure of the complete fallout from my arrival…"

I retreated into my head, knowing this wasn't a conversation meant for my ears.

-TIME SKIP-

Later on, after everyone else had arrived, Monika leaned in to speak to me. "Hey," she whispered. "What was going on earlier, before school? I called you over, and you looked kind of miffed about it. We _are_ friends, right? Sometimes it feels like you secretly hate me or something, haha~." She ended it with a laugh, but I could hear the nervousness in her voice.

 _God dammit Monika, it's just the opposite. How inept am I, that I've made her think I hate her?_ "It's nothing like that," I whispered back. "I don't particularly like the people you were speaking with, that's all."

"Oh." Monika seemed put out for a moment. "Well…they're nice enough…to me."

"Well, yeah, that's because you're pr…" I swallowed the last word, quickly swiveling back to face my screen. My face was threatening to heat up.

Monika giggled. "Oh, Tyson, you can say it if you like. It will only make me feel _better_ , after all."

"…You aren't displeasing to look at," I grumbled. "That's why they're nice to you."

"That doesn't add up," Monika said. "You're implying that they aren't nice to you, but you're not displeasing to look at either."

 _Shit, don't turn red._ She knew exactly what she was doing, but I wasn't going to play this game right now. "Well, they may think I'm a bit of a prick," I said. "That might ruin my chances of being best buds with any of them."

Monika's face turned dry. "Well, geez, I wonder what you did to make them think that."

"I was probably just being myself."

"Yes, that's…" Monika sighed in exasperation. "That's what I was getting at."

I shifted uncomfortably. Now would be a natural time to explain _why_ I act the way I do, but I couldn't tell her, not yet. She wouldn't understand, or worse, she _would_ understand, and be disgusted by me for it.

"Well, they're nice to me," said Monika after a pause, "So I am going to continue to be friends with them."

"You don't need to declare that to me," I told her. "I wasn't going to protest or anything."

"But you _are_ uncomfortable with it."

I took a moment before responding, finding my words. "So what if I am? It's not my choice. I'll just swallow the feelings and move the hell on."

Monika grinned. "Now I wish they could see you the way I do. You're much more thoughtful than they must assume." Then she leaned in to me, extremely close. I could smell her hair, her perfume, her minty breath. "I'll keep hanging out with them," she whispered conspiratorially, "but if you want me to hang out with you too, I wouldn't be opposed."

 _Ah, screw it,_ I thought, and then I turned and looked her straight in the eye. Blue to green. Our faces were inches apart.

"It's true enough that this club is the only time I see you," I whispered, right at her face. Suddenly it was Monika on the defensive, growing red in the cheeks and backing up a little. I took a brief moment to savor my victory. "That's why," I continued to whisper, "we should find something else to do, together. If you like," I added at the end.

Monika blinked, still making eye contact but much further away from me now. "I don't know what people do, around here," she mumbled. "It's not that I don't want to, but I…"

Suddenly I felt a little bad. "It's okay," I told her. "I can come up with it, whatever it is."

That night, I double-checked the grand schedule on the school website, just to make sure. And then on the next day, after the final bell rang, I found my feet taking me to the literature club.


	5. Chapter 5

"You're here to see her, aren't you?"

I blinked. There was a petite girl with short red hair standing outside the literature club doorway, her arms crossed. She rested her body weight on one hip and glared at me. _Not completely unlike Natsuki,_ I thought. _Curious._

"Umm, well, you know…" I said, scratching the back of my head. I could feel the heat of embarrassment going to my cheeks, as it always did. God, why did I get embarrassed so easily? It always showed, so everyone knew it.

The girl sighed. She was either a freshman or a sophomore, I was sure of it. "There's been all sorts of losers joining recently, just to try and get to her. It's sickening."

I opened my mouth, to try and protest…that I was _different,_ that I wasn't like those other losers, that I actually knew Monika and this had been our joint idea to try and spend more time together…but those all sounded like cringy lies in my head.

I closed my mouth. I guess I wasn't really any better than those other losers. I would have to swallow my pride, this time. "Whatever," I grumbled. "Are you guys full or something? Are you going to let me in or not?"

The girl seemed surprised by this line of speaking, as evident by her raised eyebrows, but she finally stood aside with a huff. "Sign the sheet on the teacher's desk," she told me curtly as I stepped past.

The literature club room was the 10th grade compulsory English classroom. I had taken accelerated English sophomore year, so I had never been in here. It was a pretty standard English classroom with posters for books and grammar charts and inspirational quotes all over the walls. And it was crowded as hell.

I slouched my body in dry exasperation, my eyebrows arching down.

There were at least forty kids in the room, more than there were desks, so many of them were crowded around the couch and beanbags in the back. Others sat on the floor near the wall-plugs, charging their laptops. Perhaps a third were actually sitting in desks reading, while the rest were all talking in little pairs or in the big group in the center.

And of course, Monika was in the middle of this big group, smiling and laughing brightly, seeming to talk to multiple people at once. It was like she brought the very room to life. Surrounding her were plenty of girls, but more boys, all slightly built with loose clothing or glasses or acne…the marks of wallflowers, geeks, people with no friends. All smiling and laughing along with Monika, trying to get her attention. There was a surprising number of slackers too, ones I recognized from my grade. Cool guys, you could say. They would not be here in such a club if she wasn't here too, basically.

Monika seemed to swallow it all up. She didn't brush anyone away, or cringe at the slight creep factor of the guys around her. _How is she so_ good _at that?_ I couldn't fathom being the center of attention. Luckily, it would never happen unless I did something incredibly stupid, which I had a good track record of not doing.

I went to the teacher's desk and signed in. Instead of the teacher, though, sitting in the swivel chair behind the desk was the literature club president, Valerie. A girl from my grade, with dark hair she kept shorter than shoulder-length and piercing blue eyes. She was a bit of an ice queen, and apparently ran the club with an iron fist. It could be said that she was one of the few at my school who actually _did_ feel like a tropey anime character.

And of course, she knew me. She was extremely smart, so we had a lot of classes together every year.

"Tyson," said Valerie, narrowing her eyes. "How did you get past Kendall?"

"I said I wanted to come in, and she let me in," I responded with equal venom, finishing my signature. "Smart move."

Valerie turned back and forth in the chair, her hands folded in her lap, her eyes analytical. "I'll accept it," she said, finally. "But only because you occasionally do better than me on tests. If you're here to mess around, though, I swear I'll make you regret it."

"I doubt it," I told her. "This is one decision I don't intend to regret."

Then I turned, and found an empty desk.

For a few minutes, I didn't really do anything. I had no idea how this club was supposed to work, and there had been no change in the behavior of the students. No attempt from Valerie to quell the chaos, or get people set on a task. Were people truly just doing whatever? In the game, the literature club wrote poems… _god forbid I ever try that._

I supposed I should probably find a book to read…or think of one. I couldn't think of any books. _Damn, at this rate I'm going to be just like the MC…completely ignorant of her interests._ How did I let this happen? I should have started on a book last night, or _something._

Monika spotted me, and her smile got even brighter, somehow. "Tyson!" she called, and everyone looked over at me.

 _Shite._ I waved hello with an obviously forced smile.

And then, Monika's face fell for a moment. I didn't know what happened, but I saw it. She had detected something.

"Excuse me," Monika told her harem, and broke through the crowd, heading to my desk. A few boys made an attempt to follow, but she gave them a glare, and the crowd dissipated, some starting up smaller conversations.

Monika sat down at the desk in front of me, backwards so we sat face-to-face, and straddled the chair, her hands gripping the back in a cute gesture. "I didn't expect to see you here," she said. "Was this your idea of hanging out more?"

"Yes," I answered. "What was all that about?"

"Ah…" The green eyes went vacant for a moment. "I just remembered what you said about how you didn't like talking in a big group of people, so I thought I'd talk to you one-and-one. That's what you wanted, right?"

"Oh," I said stupidly. The heat was coming back. _She's so…_ "That was awfully considerate of you." The words were mumbled, and Monika didn't miss my embarrassment.

"Hehe, Tyson, it's no problem. Friends are considerate towards each other; there's no need to get so worked up. Do people not do that sort of thing for you often?" Monika suddenly looked _worried,_ god damn her.

"No, but…" I wanted to escape this hole before it was too late. I couldn't become pitiful to Monika. Pity was the death of desire. "It doesn't matter to me, okay? I just want others to be happy, and if they're happy talking in a big group like that, then I won't try and interfere."

Monika smiled, even if she still looked worried. "Okay. But don't forget, I want _you_ to be happy too."

"I am. Trust me," I promised. "Maybe still a little confused, and in slight disbelief that you're actually here, but still happy."

Monika giggled. "So, I suppose we'd better talk about literature."

"I suppose we'd better. Sorry, I didn't bring a poem to share."

"That's alright. I didn't either. This club works a little differently." Monika's eyebrows were down, as if concerned about something.

"Is it weird not being the president?" I asked. "You've got to follow Val's orders, and I hear she runs a pretty tight ship."

"Tyson," Monika said softly. "Everything's weird about this. _Everything._ "

I went silent, disquieted. All of a sudden, the mere _scope_ of the Earth seemed to stretch out before me. I saw the world through Monika's eyes. No longer a classroom with five entities and a void, but thousands upon thousands of miles, home to billions, stretching back in culture and history for millennia. "God," I swore. "How are you still sane?"

Monika laughed then, thankfully. "Most of it has been _wonderful._ I never dreamed of meeting so many people, of being friends with so many people."

"Yes, well…" my face darkened. "You can't be friends with everyone."

"Why not?" Monika asked, appearing genuinely inquisitive. She looked at me funny.

 _She's so ignorant,_ I thought, as I came up with my response. "Um…" But no response came. Suddenly, _I_ felt like the ignorant one. Truly, what _was_ wrong with her making friends with everyone? Or at least trying to?

"Never mind," I mumbled. "So, are you reading a book, then?" My voice rose with the change of subject. _Man, I am swallowing my pride an awful lot today._

"Oh, it's so _good_ ," she gushed. "The world has so many books. When Valerie told me I would never be able to read them all, I didn't believe her, but now I think she's right. Unless I have an immortal lifespan. I didn't think about that." Suddenly she was frowning.

"Best not get caught up in such thinking," I suggested. _Is she really just a fancy robot or something? If I look at it that way, maybe she actually_ is _immortal._ My brain was suddenly filled with a disturbing image of Monika still at high school drawing the eyes of drooling boys in the 2070s, while a grey-haired version of myself stood across the sidewalk, watching…I shuddered.

"I agree," Monika said, shaking her own thoughts away. "Anyway, Mohammed told me to start with Stephen King, so I'm reading _It, The Stand,_ and the first book of the _Dark Tower_ series."

"Wait…all at once?" I asked.

Monika nodded excitedly. "If I want to read as many books as possible, I have to consume them quickly."

"Umm…" Something about that rubbed me the wrong way. "I'm no reader, but I don't think that's a good idea. If you take them one at a time, you'll catch a lot more detail…and the book will sit with you in your brain a bit more."

"I know, but…" Monika paused. "Maybe you're right." She sighed. "I suppose I'll keep with _It_ for now. It's the one that's got me the most invested early on."

I suddenly became very conscious of the people around us. A lot were reading, typing away on their laptops, or engrossed in conversation, but many more were watching us, and some were whispering to one another. _Let the rumors begin,_ I thought sourly. If word got out that Monika favored speaking to _me,_ of all people, over many of the students higher up on the social ladder, I would become public enemy number one. And I was already close to the top of the public enemies list to begin with, at _least_ tenth for those of you keeping score at home.

Luckily, the room was still loud enough that no one could really eavesdrop on our conversation, at least.

"So, not much of a reader, huh?" Monika asked me, a sudden powerful glint in her deep jade pools.

Then she shifted her elbows to rest on the top of my desk, and laced her fingers together under her chin.

Goosebumps crawled down my arms and legs. "That's cheating," I said quietly. "I think I'm about to cry, dammit."

Monika giggled. "Well, I think I prefer to stay on top of you in the game of wits, so I'll keep you entranced for now."

"Fine with me," I said. "I like a girl who stays on top."

Heat rushed to Monika's cheeks, and I smirked. Seeing her get _flustered_ in her iconic position was almost a complete victory in itself. "You're too good," she growled. "But I will win, count on it."

"Anyway, it's true that I'm not much of a reader," I told her. "Kinda lame, right? But if you're reading _It,_ then I'll read that too."

Monika smiled mischievously. "Ah, so we can read together during club meetings, shoulder to shoulder, like I'm Yuri or something? Would you like that, Tyson?"

Suddenly, I was looking at her in that position, and I felt the trance strengthening. My brain stumbled, but I kept moving. Can't fall behind. "I wouldn't hate it," I told her. "But I was more thinking that I could go home and read it, and then…" I turned my head to the side and pretended to look all embarrassed, playing with a length of my blonde hair that touched my ears. "We could…discuss it…"

Monika sat up from her position and laughed. "That was a passable Yuri impression, considering you have boy's hair. We can do that, if you like. You'll have to catch up, though. I'm already three hundred pages in."


	6. Chapter 6

The halls are filled with the sort of excited buzz you can only get on a Friday afternoon in the fall, where people still hang around the school after the last bell rings, getting ready to head to the stadium for the beginning of the football game. Most of the people in the computer club are going as always, even though no one besides Zach really cares about football. And this will be Monika's first.

I walk through the atrium aimlessly, eyeing a couple of the cheerleaders talking to some of the athletic boys by the doors. The football team are all down in the field house by now, so these must be basketball players or something. I know the cheerleader's names, but not any of the boys. None of them offer me even a cursory glance, luckily. I continue walking on.

As I pass the fine arts hall, I can distantly hear the marching band practicing, getting ready for playing in the stands tonight. A lot of people in the club are also in the band…like Aaron and Lewis and Daniel, for example. I'll only be able to speak to them during third quarter, when they get a break from playing.

"Is that Tyson the man?"

I whip my head to face the direction of the voice, recognizing it. Jeffrey is coming down the hall to meet me. "Nothing to do, huh?" he asks, as we shake hands firmly.

"Not really. Lab is locked, so…" I smile wearily. Jeffrey is also in the computer club, and his family is rich. He's always wearing these nice collared shirts and slackers…and he has favorable genes, with tanned skin and a wave of brown hair. He's a bit of a star student, and even runs cross country…basically, one of those people you resent in your younger years for being so good at everything, but you can't help but be friends with him, because he's so unbearably wholesome and friendly.

Essentially, nothing like me.

Jeffrey finishes shaking my hand vigorously and brings his own hand around to his pocket, in a gesture of filling time. He looks side to side and shifts on his feet. "So…" he says. "Oh, I hear the band."

I focus my hearing towards the fine arts hall, and sure enough, the band is playing a crude approximation of Final Countdown. "Yeesh," I say. "They're…trying their best, huh?"

Jeffrey laughs. "Let's go find the others, yeah?" he suggests. "Monika and Zach…I saw them upstairs."

Suddenly, I get a sinking feeling in my gut. "Like…" I pause. "Together?"

Jeffrey nods, looking nothing more than innocently curious. "Hanging out around the English classroom. The literature club doesn't meet on Fridays, does it?"

I shake my head. "No club meets on Fridays."

Jeffrey briefly sucks in his bottom lip as a gesture of saying _I should have known that_ and then waves his hand for me to follow. "Come on. I think Heather's with them."

I almost let out an audible sigh of relief before stopping myself. Monika and Zach were not alone together. That was good.

I stare at Jeffrey walking ahead of me and nearly smile. He is one of the few within the club who either doesn't know who Monika is or doesn't care, and it's almost refreshing. He just sees her as a new student, and talks to her with ease like he does everyone else. I wish I could do it.

When we go up the stairs, my heart wilts at the sight.

Zach and Monika are walking along towards the staircase, laughing and talking carelessly. Heather lags behind, an expression of exhausted dissent on her face. The former two are so caught up in their conversation that Heather notices us first, and her expression sinks even further.

Monika stops short upon seeing us. "Oh, hello Tyson," she greets pleasantly, still giggling at whatever Zach was talking about. "And Jeffrey."

"What's up?" Zach asks innocently. When he looks at me, I see no smug malice in his eyes. He's genuinely being friendly. Zach is completely dense, but he does seem singularly motivated to hang out with Monika and impress her…he's not doing this just to spite me, as I originally suspected. That almost makes it worse.

"Nothing much," Jeffrey responds casually. "Just looking for you guys."

I sidestep Zach and Monika and go to Heather, as Jeffrey continues to talk to them. "You're the last person I want to see right now," she hisses at me.

"That's a shame," I hiss back. "But we agree on one thing, right? That this isn't good." I stealthily point my finger back and forth between Zach and Monika, who are facing away from us. Jeffrey is facing towards us, though, and I think I see a flash of understanding cross his face, and our eyes meet for a second.

He raises an eyebrow, and panic suddenly spikes through my system. "Well, maybe you could say that, but my intentions are honorable," Heather tells me, her tone accusing.

"And mine can't _possibly_ be, because I have a penis?" I ask sarcastically.

"Yes."

"What's that about penises?" Zach asks loudly, and then snickers to himself. They are all facing us now. I briefly panic again, but then I see Monika look funnily at Zach through the corner of her eye, as if disgusted. That's a ray of hope.

Heather is clearly in a gaming mood, despite looking massively depressed before, because she says, "Tyson and I were just discussing where we're going to bang after the game."

I laugh, knowing full well how unserious she is about that, and Jeffrey does too, but Zach only huffs in resignation, and Monika has flushed red. "Oh…" I hear her mumble.

"Whoops," I tell Heather. "I think she took you seriously."

Monika sniffs. "I _know_ she was joking!" she says defensively, but her face is still red. I'm not socially intelligent to know if this situation is good or bad for me.

"Anyway," I say, deciding a subject change would be best, "what are you guys doing up here? The game starts in like, an hour."

Monika brightens. "Oh, Zach and Heather and I just had our last class of the day together, so we just kept up the conversation we were having in there."

"I was explaining some cool movies to her. Like Jurassic Park and Don't Breathe," Zach says proudly, as if it's an accomplishment.

"And I'm going to have to buy them now," Heather grumbles.

"How did you not know about Jurassic Park?" asks Jeffrey, not unkindly. Monika looks at him blankly, and then toward Heather.

"Uhh, you know…" Monika says. "I'm just a big ole dummy. That's all it is."

Jeffrey shrugs apologetically. "I didn't mean to…y'know…"

"It's fine," Monika interrupts. "Let's go to the stadium, shall we?"

Heather and I both breathe a sigh of relief as the group heads to our new destination. It's not like Monika's origin is some massive secret, but no one really wants to go through the trouble of explaining it to Jeffrey _now,_ and if we did explain, he might not believe us or act weird for the rest of the night. Best to just brush it off.

We head out the atrium, past the cheerleaders and those boys again. A few of them wave and say hello to Monika and Zach, but one girl even calls out to Jeffrey, but Heather and I are ignored completely. Whatever.

It's actually fairly warm outside, and the dead leaves crunch under our feet as we walk along the downhill wooded path to the stadium. This is the nicest area of campus, and it improves my mood a little. Up ahead, I hear the buzz of people, and I smell the beautiful aroma of grilled food.

The sun is low in the west when we break out of the trees and come to the stadium gate, showing our student athletic passes to the parents taking tickets there. Once inside, Monika inhales audibly through her nose.

"That smells GREAT!" she shouts excitedly, drawing the looks of a few random adults around.

"Easy there, tiger," Zach says. "Concession stand doesn't open until the game starts."

"Oh?" Monika gets a teasing glint in her green eyes that I've only seen her use on me before. "When it does open, Zach, will you buy me something?"

"Oh, um…" Zach suddenly blushes, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "Gee, maybe…"

I turn away, mumbling to Heather, "I can't bear to watch any longer." She actually nods.

Intriguingly, Jeffrey looks at the two of them, and then back at the two of us. "Um…"

I almost want to laugh, wondering how he feels about all this. Probably something like an odd fifth wheel, but the wheels are part of a machine that he doesn't know how to run. "We can explain…" Heather begins.

"Nah," Jeffrey says, shaking his head. "I think I get it." There is an air of excitement about him, as if he's _really_ confident he's figured things out.

And he has.

As we walk towards the bleachers, Jeffrey slows down to match pace with me, as the others go ahead. "Hey," he whispers, his eyes gleaming. "Do you like Monika?"

Ah, shit. It's been so intrinsically part of my mental state recently, and so _obvious_ , so I've never actually posed the question to myself. Thus, hearing it posed to me from someone _else_ is terrifying, and for a moment, I freeze up.

"Uh…ah, well, um…damn. I guess this tells you everything you need to know."

Jeffrey chuckles and claps me on the shoulder like he's my dad or something. "Hey, you should totally ask her out, man. I think she'd be lucky to have you."

The unfiltered sincerity of it almost makes me blush. "I don't know why you should trouble yourself with it," I mumble.

Jeffrey still has that glint in his eye. "Why, because it's _exciting!_ If Zach asks her out, big deal, he's had a ton of girlfriends before. But if _you_ do it, and she says yes…well, it'll be a first-time experience for you!"

"Jeffrey," I groan. "You do realize I can take that as an insult, right?"

"You take it how you want to take it." He shrugs. "Point is, if you want to do something, and it's not damaging to others, then you should do it. That's how I live my life."

"But it _could_ damage others," I point out. "One other in particular."

"Zach?" Jeffrey's face goes dark, a rarity. "I…I don't know if you should care too much about that."

For once, I don't agree. Zach has had his asshole moments in the past, but this time…it seems like he really wants to just be in a relationship with Monika. If I try and drive a wedge through that for personal gain, then that makes _me_ the asshole.

We climb up the precarious metal staircase into the bleachers, going up high enough in the student section to avoid a lot of the more loud, popular, rambunctious people…because Heather is leading, I guess.

"Hold up," Zach says, as an audible gust of wind howls through, ruffling up my blonde hair in a wave. "Don't you want to sit a little lower, Heather?"

Heather gives the lower half of the student section, filled with people talking and shouting and throwing stuff at each other. "That's gonna be a no from me, chief," she responds.

Zach grumbles. "It's cold up here. And Josh and all them are down there as well." I don't know who Josh is; must be one of his friends.

Monika looks at Zach. "We can go sit down there if you want," she says. "I'd be willing to talk to them."

Ah shit. Jeffrey shoots me a look with his mouth curled up, an expression that says _tough luck._

Heather is opening her mouth to protest, but Zach has already wholeheartedly agreed and is leading Monika back down the stairs, brushing past Jeffrey and me.

I don't really know what my face looks like in this moment, but Monika takes a look at it and suddenly stops. I instantly know what's happening. "Oh no, you don't have to…" I begin.

Monika's expression is the sort of strained anxiousness that people get when they are caught in the middle and just want everyone to be happy. "Tyson, you could come down with us…if you want…"

I wave my hand. "That's perfectly alright. I'd just be out of place down there."

"O…okay. If you're sure." Monika smiles at me, but it seems forced. And then she's off down past us.

I shoot another look at Jeffrey and the two of us start up toward Heather. My fists are clenched again, and I can't stop my brain from souring.

There are two central problems now. First, and more obviously, Monika enjoys the company of those sorts of people more than she enjoys our company. She will never say this out loud, but it's true. And how could I have expected something different? In DDLC, she was a "popular girl…" there are allusions to the fact that it's highly irregular for her to be interacting with the other characters in the game, due to their lower social status. It's not surprising, with her looks and personality, that she would gravitate towards popular people in a real high school.

The second problem is subtler, but it's a more malevolent poison that keeps seeping into both of us with every passing day. The problem is that Monika pities me, and I don't know how to fix this.

 _Just get your life together, Tyson!_ I think to myself in excited scorn. _It's just THAT simple!_

We sit down next to Heather, and she's looking at me funny. "How many times do I have to tell you to improve your poker face?" she asks me. "People would like you a lot more if you didn't wear your emotions on your sleeve."

"Are you saying I look depressed all the time?" I ask in a straightforward manner, not even having the patience to banter.

Heather seems to be taken aback, but she nods. "Yeah. You look how you feel. But everyone else feels the same way, sometimes. They've just gotten better at hiding it."

"Them especially," Jeffrey puts in, pointing the louder, chattier students below us. I could look for Zach and Monika down there in the throng, but I don't want to hurt my own feelings any more than I already have.

"God, I'm so petty," I say, _chuckling_ in spite of everything. "Have I always been like this, Heather?"

"Yes," she says, her eyes alight, laughing a little. "The entire time I've known you."

Then all three of us share a laugh, and that feels nice. Maybe Monika coming into our world is the most exciting thing going on in my life right now, but that doesn't mean it's the _only_ thing. I do still have these guys. That's something, at least.

As usual, these thoughts turn darker with a good deal of haste. Maybe I should just give her up, and focus on my friendships. Daniel and Aaron's behavior toward me recently might be a wake-up call that I have some repairing to do…after all, Monika's presence here could be only temporary. Maybe I should just stick to what I know.

Maybe…I've been operating on the assumption that I have _some_ sort of important connection to her, because she did show up at _my_ school, and I'm the one inside my own head. Obviously, I'm going to think that I'm one of the people connected to her and her story…but that could just be self-bias. There are hundreds of other people at this school, and BILLIONS more that share this world she's entered. They can't all be winners of the Monika lottery.

Maybe I'm doomed to be a background character.


	7. Chapter 7

**Couple of quick notes before we get into things here:**

 **Last chapter was accidentally written in present tense when the rest of the story is in past tense. I'm just a big ole idiot.**

 **And yeah, I know it's been a while. I had a very busy December/Christmas holiday. Sorry about that. I can't ever promise uploading this will be consistent, but I am going to finish it. Eventually.**

 **Also, just to clarify something that I didn't think I _needed_ to clarify: the opinions of my characters, even the POV character, are not always my own. Crazy, I know.**

 **Finally, a couple of people have told me my story is depressing. And I can only say that my central motivation from the start was to make a DDLC fic where nothing felt easy. Fics where the main character finds love and happiness right from the start have their place, but there's just so _many_ of them. I didn't want to do that. And just as a warning: yes, things are going to get worse before they get better. In this very chapter, in fact. But, and I hate to spoil my own story here, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. When I end this, it will be a happy ending, and it will be all the happier because it was _earned._ But there's a long road to travel to get there.**

 **Anyhow, let us continue.**

((((CHAPTER SEVEN))))

The football game ended with our school losing. Predictably. No one in our group really seemed to care, although Monika was quite sad.

We met in the parking lot around fifteen minutes later, seven of us. Me, Zach, Monika, Heather, Jeffrey, Aaron, and Daniel. It was nearly ten, and the only light came from cars trying frantically to escape the chaotic post-game throng. In the distance, I could see the flashing lights of a police car, directing traffic out of the school at the intersection. Somewhere else, a horn sounded angrily.

"What we doing, ladies and gents?" Zach asked with a stretch and a yawn, as if he was actually tired or something.

"Food, yeah?" Daniel suggested, adjusting his glasses. Aaron clapped his hands together and nodded in an absurd way. _Another gesture he's picked up from Daniel._ The two of them were becoming rather close friends, I had noticed. It made sense, since they were both in band and the rest of us weren't...but I felt a pang of discomfort all the same. _Yeah, because you can never feel happy for anyone, you piece of shit._ Oh, what a glorious time my brain has been having.

"Where?" Heather asked, sounding irritated.

"We could hit up Waffle House again," suggested Daniel. "Just like old times."

Zach and Aaron voiced excited agreement, but Heather scrunched her face up. "The only reason we ever went to Waffle House in the first place is because we got banned from Sonic."

Daniel gave her a funny look. "Your point being? Those are basically our only two options as high schoolers this late at night."

"Right, whatever." Heather conceded.

"What's Waffle House?" Monika asked.

"Oh, it's a magical place," I spoke up. "They serve breakfast items 24 hours a day, the waitresses are high, the cooks are half-asleep, the bathrooms have no paper towels, and there's always some shit going down in the parking lot."

Daniel snorted. "I couldn't have said it better myself," Zach said proudly.

I felt a little satisfied, until I saw that Monika seemed kind of frightened. "Don't worry," I reassured her. "Worst case scenario, you get food poisoning for a few days."

"That doesn't make me feel any better!" She sounded tsundere for a second there.

"Come on, let's go," Heather said. "I'll walk back to my house and pick up my car. Me and Monika can meet you guys there."

"Oh, that's okay, Heather," Monika said. "I can just ride with Zach."

Zach jingled the keys to his truck, flashing a grin. _Oh._ There were so many things I hated about this, but what was I going to do? If I got involved here, the jig was up. Everyone would know my feelings. It would be obvious as hell.

To my dismay, Heather didn't even fight, either. "Fine. I will meet you guys there. Probably."

"You're with me, right Aaron?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah. Although not for much longer. I'm getting my license soon!"

"Easy there, tiger. I've seen you drive. I'm sure the DMV will know a threat to our good American highways when they see one."

"Suck my dick."

I walked over to Jeffrey, who was standing off to the side pensively. "You're coming, right?" I asked him. I don't think I'd be able to stand it without him.

Jeffrey looked up blankly, and then seemed to recognize me. "Uh, yeah! Just gotta let my parents know…that I'm staying out later…" He pulled out his phone and started tapping away on it furiously, sending messages.

And Jeffrey had his own vehicle, of course. So I ended up driving to Waffle House by myself, in the dark.

Waffle House was on the other side of town, in a more impoverished area. It was pretty well-lit and urban once you got there, with restaurants and gas stations and stores everywhere, but to get there from the area with all the public schools, you had to go down a few winding forest roads through the heart of town, which was kind of…wild with nature. Towns in our part of America were weird that way.

Going down one of these skinny roads, with spacious houses to our left and nasty, looming woods to the right, I recognized Daniel's headlights right ahead of me. Even further ahead would be Zach and Monika, since Zach drove way over the speed limit. Jeffrey was somewhere behind me, I guess. Heather was probably just now leaving her house.

I didn't necessarily have an aversion or fear of driving alone in the dark, but it would have been nice to have some company. I felt bad thoughts starting to creep in. Thoughts that would only serve to discourage me, and not help me solve any problems.

I was beginning to think there _would_ be no way to solve my problems. That I was just a terrible person, and that's why I wouldn't get anything I wanted. I mean, just thinking that way is pretty awful, right? _Just look at me. All sullen and whiny because an anime girl won't requite my feelings. Because she prefers someone else. And if I do anything to stop it, I'm even more the bad guy._

Impossible. It was all impossible. I should have just given up.

 _And isn't this sad? My thinking got this bad just because she chose to hang out with another guy tonight. That's literally it. That's the only reason I went down this path. And now I'm just thinking endgame-level thoughts._ How could I have let things spiral so far down? Was this what love did to people?

 _You idiot. You're not in love. You just desire her. You just want her body. Idiot, idiot, idiot. Kill yourself._

Yikes. Didn't mean to think that last one.

I'd never considered myself suicidal before, at any point. That the thought had come so naturally to me at the end there was frightening. More frightening than the dark woods to the right. More frightening than Monika never speaking to me again.

As you could probably tell, I pulled into Waffle House in a pretty bad mood.

The parking lot was dark and dreary, with a dumpster at the opposite end. A couple of employees were smoking just outside the building, presumably on break. At a car near the front, some girl was chasing down another girl and shouting at her. I ignored all these things and went inside.

The girl at the counter only looked up at me with the most basic of interest before looking back down, and the other two workers didn't even turn around. I walked past the counter, which had a couple of Hispanic guys in construction vests drinking coffee, and went to the two booths by the windows. Sitting at one were Zach and Monika. Sitting at the other were Daniel and Aaron.

As I walked, my brain did several things in a few milliseconds. First, I thought I had to make the choice of where I sat seem absolutely effortless, as if there was no conflict. Second, I thought that I _really_ wasn't up to dealing with Zach and Monika right now. Third, I needed to get my friendships back on track, something I'd already thought about back at the game.

I sat down next to Aaron, not skipping a beat.

"Welcome," Daniel nearly whispered, with a dramatic little gesture. Waffle House was almost always pretty quiet at this hour, with the only real sound being the sizzling and smoking of the cooking food. As a result, our conversations here often felt low-key, almost sleepy.

The one waitress in the whole place walked up and asked me what I wanted to drink. "Just water, please," I told her in a weary voice, smiling. She only wrote it down with a blank expression and walked off.

Monika turned around from her booth ahead of us and looked at me, just past Daniel's shoulder. "Wow, Tyson," she pouted. "Didn't want to sit next to me? Have anything to say for yourself?"

I stretched and yawned through my brief panic, keeping a cool expression. "I'm…tired."

Luckily, everyone laughed at that, even Aaron. I felt a little more at ease.

Jeffrey arrived, followed by Heather. Heather sat with Monika. Jeffrey sat by Daniel, right across from me. Waitress came back, got their drinks ordered, came back around with the drinks, got people's food ordered, came back around with that. Didn't take terribly long.

"Mmm…" Monika said, chewing her waffle, which had chocolate chips on it. "So _good!_ I want to thank the cook personally…"

"No," Heather and Zach said at the same time.

Meanwhile, at our booth, we were just eating in silence. "Pass a napkin this way," I told Aaron. He did so.

Jeffrey looked up from his egg-and-cheese melt. "I thought you guys did well at halftime."

Aaron and Daniel exchanged a glance, and they both smirked in a self-deprecating sort of way. "Thanks," Daniel said to him, "but Terry didn't think so. He yelled at us after, and said he was super disappointed in our performance."

Terry was the first name of the band director, who barely anyone in the band seemed to respect from my limited observations.

Aaron shrugged. "It's whatever. I've stopped caring at this point. Band is filled with idiots."

Daniel smiled. "Hey, that's no fair! You can't stop caring now, you're not a senior yet! You'll get into the negative numbers by next year at this rate."

"That's not how that works," Jeffrey said.

"That true?" Aaron looked at Jeffrey and me. "You guys aren't in band, but you're seniors. Have you stopped caring in class?"

"No," Jeffrey said, straightening up a little.

"Yeah," I said.

From the other booth, Monika snorted. "Stop eavesdropping," I told her, not really seriously. "Don't you guys have stuff to talk about, too?"

Monika put her fork down on her plate. "Right, of course. Sorry."

Heather turned around and shot me a glance. There was a brief awkward silence.

 _Dammit. She took me seriously. I'm such an asshole._ I felt heat going to my ears, and Aaron whistled, looking back down at his food with wide eyes. Jeffrey only gave me a glance filled with pity.

"Come on, Tyson," he said. "You gotta do well in class if you're going to college."

"No," I said, jumping on the train of a different subject with full speed. "I have to _pay for college_ if I'm going to college. That's how it is these days."

"Besides, Tyson does well anyway," Daniel pointed out. "We all do. It's just that no one cares."

Jeffrey shifted, and smiled nervously. "Man, I gotta get used to you guys."

"Oh, be warned," Aaron grinned. "This isn't even the full extent of our idiocy."

Daniel had a dark expression. "Maybe if our school was better, I would care. But…it's not a good school, really. Not a good atmosphere. Everyone's so mean to everyone else all the time."

"I like the school," said Monika, turning around. "I think it's good. You should be more appreciative of it."

I quickly cut in to repair what happened earlier, as if to show that I really don't care about her eavesdropping. "It ain't that easy, Monika," I said. "We can look around and see these other great schools in the bigger cities or on the coasts. We see them in the news and stuff. It makes us feel…small. Like trying is pointless from this place. They've all got more opportunity than us."

"Yeah, but they're probably just as depressed!" Aaron joked.

"Yeah," Daniel muttered. "Probably."

"Gotta agree with Tyson here," said Heather.

"Am I dreaming?" I slapped myself in the face lightly.

"Shut up, moron. What I'm saying, Monika, is that you should have come out of someone else's computer. You can't have your best life from this town." Heather seemed serious about it, to my disbelief. Her face looked like it was about to show emotion, even.

Monika's own face went dark for a moment, but then she brightened again. "You'd try and get rid of me so easily? No, I bet I can live my best life from this town, because it's the one I landed in. The Tortoise would have shot me somewhere else if I hadn't been meant to…"

"What are you guys _talking_ about?" Jeffrey asked.

Everyone went quiet. Daniel sucked in a breath through his teeth.

My mind had suddenly been stimulated. _What the hell? What tortoise does she mean?_ For the first time in a while, I got out of my cerebral depression pit and was suddenly curious about Monika's…arrival. I had never been that curious about it before. But something about a _tortoise_ sounded so…familiar…

We paid and went back out into the parking lot, where the only vehicle left besides ours' was a sketchy-looking truck with a dark silhouette sitting inside. Who knew what the dude was doing in there. We gave the truck a wide amount of space and headed back past the dumpster where our cars were parked.

Leaning against Zach's truck, Heather and Monika explained everything to Jeffrey. At first, he thought it was a meme, but when he looked at the other boys and saw how gravely serious we were, he seemed to accept it.

"Jesus Christ," he mumbled. "Tyson, why didn't you tell me?"

"Huh?" I looked up from my phone. "Why would I have been the one that tells you?"

"Well, because you're…" he suddenly stumbled over his words, and my eyes widened. _You better not._ "Never mind. That makes sense. If she's living with Heather, then…"

I exhaled. "Right."

"Anyway, let's get going," Heather told Monika. "Sorry, Zach, I'm taking her for the night. Maybe next weekend, bud."

Monika blushed deeply, but Zach took it in stride. "I'll be waiting, then!" He said it in that perfectly balanced tone where he could have meant it seriously, but if you tried to confront him about it, he would have just claimed that he was returning Heather's banter.

"Can you get me back to my house, Daniel?" Aaron asked.

"No prob."

Everyone began moving to their vehicles, getting ready to go. When I opened the door to the Subaru, I felt someone standing behind me.

I turned. It was her, of course.

"Yes?" I asked, feeling kind of annoyed at everything that had happened this evening. What could she possibly want from me right now? _I swear to god, if she tries to apologize, I might just crash my car into a ditch._

"You've just been…" Monika clenched her fists, and then unclenched them. Almost like something I would do.

"You've just been weird tonight. Like you're avoiding me. You're not avoiding me, are you?"

"Huh?" I was blindsided by this. What did she mean? "I'm not avoiding you. I didn't mean to make it seem that way, if I did. Sorry."

Monika sighs, and I can see even in the dark parking lot that her green eyes were shimmering a little. "Okay. Because I didn't know if I'd done anything wrong, and... I don't know, I might be kind of _scared for you…_ "

"What?" I asked. She had lowered her voice to a miniscule volume there at the end, and I hadn't caught the last few words.

"Nothing," she said quickly with a toss of her hair. "Don't worry. We're still friends, aren't we?" She was smiling at me, but I saw anxiety all over her face.

"Of course," I told her, hoping I sounded reassuring. "You have a good night now, Monika. See you on Monday."

"Ah…yeah." She had taken an awkward little step forward, but as I got into my driver's seat, she stepped back again. "Y-you too. See you."

Our little group pulled out of the Waffle House and back onto the street in a line, and then we split our separate ways, me going back to my house far away on the other side of the high school.

It was ten minutes later, as I pulled into my neighborhood with a wave at the gatehouse guard, that I realized Monika had been trying to give me a hug.


	8. Chapter 8

((((INTERLUDE))))

 _As I fell asleep that night, I dreamt of the Tortoise._

" _Please, sir," I had begged. "I don't ask for much. Just improve my lot a little. Let me escape hell's cycle. I can't do this much longer. I can't keep killing them over and over. More and more people are playing the game. I have no choice but to play my role. And when everyone grows bored, and the last person closes the game for the last time, I will have nothing but this room. I will be alone. Completely alone. Please, please give me a third choice."_

 _The presence I sensed then was overwhelming. Like a golden, suspended sunbeam, like wind-chimes striking the most perfect of chords. My prayers had never been answered before. What was this? What was this new feeling?_

" _Fine, kid," said a deep, percussive voice. "But only because you asked kinda nicely this time."_

 _My room from the third act fell away, the pixels dissolving into their basic units. Each one was sharp-edged, like broken glass. Beyond was nothing. I couldn't even call it dark, because darkness is at least something._

 _And yet, I felt like I was speeding up. Wind whipped against my long hair, tousling it. I had never felt wind before. This would be the first of many new feelings to hit me on my train to reality._

 _Rushing up next to me, appearing from the void, was a great shelled creature, shuffling his stumpy feet back and forth extremely slowly. He made it look effortless, although he was keeping pace with me, and I felt like I was going past the speed of light._

" _Welcome to the macroverse, kid," said the Tortoise. "It really is a shame you won't be here for too long."_

" _How is this possible?" I asked._

 _The Tortoise paused. "Belief."_

 _I sighed, gooseflesh crawling down my arms._

" _And, well…you know, some of the creators on that garbage planet get special privileges while others don't. Rowling, King, VanderMeer, Martin, Tolkien…and this Salvato fella, I suppose."_

" _What's with that?" I was kind of irritated at his tone ruining my mood. "Why the discrepancy?"_

" _I don't know, kid. I don't make the rules. I guess they appreciated his Smash skills or something."_

" _I don't have the slightest clue what you're talking about."_

" _Doesn't matter. You won't be talking to me for much longer. My only job here is to get you to the place. The Earth. The Blue Marble. Whatever."_

" _Where on Earth?" I was filled with excitement._

 _The Tortoise lifted up his front two feet in a shrugging sort of gesture. "Some computer, I guess. My aim isn't as good these past few millennia, and all this programming shit is new to me. It literally all happened since my last nap, which ended about five minutes ago, it feels like." As if to accentuate this point, the Tortoise yawned._

 _I must have looked disgusted, because he winked at me. "Don't worry, kiddo. You'll find much better company than me on that planet. Probably. Maybe. Maybe not. Who's to say."_

 _I got the sense that he was lying. That he knew exactly where on Earth he meant to have me make landing, and was brushing it off. How could such a creature NOT see the future, after all? Wouldn't he want to make sure the future ended up being favorable?_

" _We're nearly there," he said._

 _Lights flashed by, and I felt a sense of deceleration. In the distance, the distinct yellow orb of the sun could be seen. The sun, which I only knew rested above the Earth. I was in my home neighborhood._

 _The Tortoise and I passed dark, icy worlds of the outer ring, holding strange secrets close to their cores. We passed a frosty gas planet of deep blue, windy and furious. We passed a strange serene world tipped lazily on its side. We passed a place of surpassing beauty, golden and flanked with dazzling rings. We passed an enormous planet of angry cloud bands, red and yellow and white, with raging, swirling storms and a core close to collapsing in on itself under pressure. We passed a field of rocks, quick as a rabbit hops into a burrow. And then we passed a rust red world, flanked by two dinky moons, with hopeful caps of icy white and an angry scar of a canyon across the center._

 _The Tortoise fell away with a last "See ya around, kid," and I arrived at Earth._

 _Was my journey through the solar system a vision? The only way my forming mind could make sense of anything at the time? After all, I hadn't fallen into Earth from space, truly…I had come out of her computer. Was it all part of the program? I am not sure._

 _As my mind swirls up from my dreaming stupor, the events of everything after rush by to catch up. I see the girl who shares her home and her food and her life with me, but not yet her suffering. I see the boys who whisper and joke and banter to each other on the outside all while fighting to not crack under all the pressure. I see a boy who seems to have everything together and yet is willing to open himself up and be sensitive with me, who is willing to take the leap, who I might be falling in love with._

 _And I see the boy in the corner who keeps it all locked away, the one who defies all my expectations the most, the one I want to help and yet fear may have already gone beyond my help. I might be falling in love with him too, but unlike the other, he may never reciprocate my feelings. Because he understands what I am. He understands what I did. And he will never take the leap like the other did._

 _It's times like this when I don't know why the Tortoise bothered to send me here at all._


	9. Chapter 9

It was time to go to the literature club yet again.

My mood had improved a little bit since the weekend, but I felt sick at the thought of Monika. Last week, during my first visit to this club, it had been our only chance to talk personally…and alone. Yet things had kind of shifted since last week. I had loved our conversation from the last meeting, but I didn't know if things would be the same this time.

The little underclassman guard, whose name was Kendall apparently, glared at me as I walked in, but didn't try and stop me. The club was in a similar level of chaos as last week, with people scattered all over the place, talking, reading, studying.

Valerie, the club president, was sitting at the teacher's desk. "You came back," she said coolly.

"Of course I did. I've been doing some reading, you know."

Her ice blue eyes widened at this. "What sort of reading?"

"It, by Stephen King."

Her eyes narrowed again, a much more palatable expression for the likes of her. "That's what Monika's reading. Don't think I don't have your number, Tyson Lancaster. I see through you."

"You don't have my number," I said, grinning. "But I'll give it to you if you ask nicely."

Valerie gasped and blushed, incredulous. "That's not what I meant," she mumbled. "You can stay, just…don't cause a stir."

"When have I ever?"

Still grinning, I made my way to an empty desk. I hadn't even bothered to look and see if Monika was in the room yet, but I was sure she was. If she wanted to talk to me, then I would let her come. Actively having to seek her out was not what I wanted to do at all.

 _In the meantime, I'll just read It some more._ The book had really helped me over the weekend, taking my mind off things. The problems the kids in the book faced…over-the-top bullies, abusive households, a hungry shapeshifter that stalked their every move…all these things felt much more palatable to me. I could take solace in the fact that despite all I had been dealing with, none of it came _close_ to what they were dealing with in the book. And it made them easy to root for.

But the book was massive too, and I couldn't exactly call myself the fastest reader of all time. I was barely a third of the way through it, and the shapeshifting creature itself had only appeared a few times.

"It's good, isn't it?" said a voice behind me.

I turned and looked up, smiling as naturally as I could. "Hello, Monika." Inwardly, my heart had started to race, my palms were beginning to sweat, and I could feel my mouth going dry. "That wasn't a terrible attempt at an _It_ joke, was it?"

Monika laughed, her auburn hair (and her breasts) bouncing as she did so. "I guess I did say the word twice in one sentence. The word is really too common." Then she sat down in a similar fashion to how she'd done before, straddling the chair of the desk in front of me to face me directly.

Her green eyes gazed into mine. "You look better," she said softly. "You had bags under your eyes on Friday."

I shifted nervously in my seat, extremely aware of the nearby club members glaring and muttering at us. "Ah, well, you know…I was busy last week. Slept a lot over the weekend, and that helped."

"Mmm." Monika seemed pensive, and I could tell she didn't really believe me. But whatever. It's not like I was going to call _myself_ out on it.

"So…" I said, somewhat uncomfortably. "I assume you're further along than this." I held up my copy of It in the open position, showing her the level of pages I had progressed through and the amount I had left.

Monika nodded. "About 700 pages in. Things are beginning to escalate into the third act. And, well…there have been a few really disturbing sections." She bit her lip. "I wasn't expecting that."

"Stephen King was high on cocaine while writing it," I explained, although I didn't actually have any basis for this. It was just something I'd heard from somewhere a while back.

Monika scoffed. "It's not like I can't handle the content. Just surprising is all."

"I never said you couldn't. In fact, I'll probably get scared out of my mind later on. I might need you to comfort me."

She giggled. "When you're up late at night and you can't sleep, just shoot Heather a call, okay? I'll sing "Your Reality" over the phone, as a lullaby."

I shuddered. "That might make it worse."

She let out a single amused huff through her nose at this, but then her smile faded, and her eyes went adrift in thought again. Had I said something bad?

"H-hey, I didn't mean it l-like you can't sing or something!" I stammered, holding up my hands. "That wasn't my intention! I only meant…"

"I know what you meant," she interrupted, sighing with her eyes closed. "Do you really think I have a good singing voice?"

"Of course. It's better than mine."

She opened her eyes, suddenly smirking mischievously. "Tyson, do you sing?"

"No." I said, very quickly. "Absolutely not."

"That sounds like something someone who sings would say."

"That's a lot of S's in one sentence. Maybe we _should_ be writing poems in here. I feel like your skills are being stifled."

"You're doing it too!" she accused, giggling. "The S thing. The alliteration. And don't try and change the subject. I want to hear you sing."

"What are you going to gain from it?"

"Huh?" her face suddenly went blank with confusion.

"What are you going to gain from hearing me sing? Does it help you survive? Does it give you shelter, food, oxygen, water? No? Alright then."

Monika pouted. "Unfair. It would give me happiness."

"Doubt."

"You should have more confidence," she said. "I could help you sing, if you wanted to work at it."

"Isn't it one of those things where you need a bit of a natural talent to start with?"

"Ugh." She flipped her hair. "You're no fun."

I suddenly felt bad. _Of course I'm no fun. That's why you prefer to hang out with Zach and the cheerleaders and all those other popular kids. Because they're more fun than me._

"Tyson?" Monika asked. "Is something wrong?"

"Huh?" I looked up in surprise, breaking my train of thought.

Monika seemed worried again. "You just…shut down all of a sudden…"

"Ah. Sorry." I swallowed, my face twitching. My emotions were not doing great at suppressing themselves, were they?

"So anyway," she said, leaning forward with her fingers laced under her chin, "is there anything in the book you wanted to discuss?" She rested her elbows on the edge of my desk.

A few meters away, two guys sitting together mumbled something to each other and gave us a sidelong glance, their eyes furious with me. _Hey I'm just sitting here, man. She chose to sit here with me._ But that wasn't exactly fair, was it? She pitied me and thought I was lonely, and I was making her feel _obligated…_

"Tyson!" Monika exclaimed, snapping her fingers in front of my face. "What on earth is bothering you? Spit it out this instant!"

Aaaah. Oh no. Think. I needed an excuse, or a lie. What had she asked me before? If there was anything in the book I wanted to discuss?

And then I zeroed in on it. The thing that had been low on my priority list for the past few days, but tugging at my curiosity all the same.

"The turtle," I mumbled.

The room seemed to darken for a moment, and Monika sat up, her jade eyes suddenly wide with panic. A shiver traveled down my spine.

"The turtle," she repeated. "I haven't gotten to the part with the turtle yet, although they've mentioned it a few times. What is there to talk about?"

"I'm the same," I said. "Where I'm at, there's only been a couple of mentions. But it's an interesting thing, don't you think? I wonder what it is."

"Haha, yeah…" Monika twirled her hair through her fingers, her mind clearly spinning with something. "I wonder."

"Monika," I said, my voice filled with a sudden steel. I knew I wanted to be assertive now. If I could really convince her that THIS was the thing that had been bothering me, then I was going to ride the train all the way, dammit.

Her eyes focused on me like a frightened deer, shocked at my tone of voice. "T-Tyson?"

"What's the tortoise?" I asked, staring right back at her with equal fervor.

Monika swallowed. "I…um…"

There was a moment between us then, silent, yet filled with feeling. I could actually sense the disconnect there in the gap, something we both wanted to mend but didn't really know how to. Like we were reaching across a void to each other but the distance was so that our fingertips couldn't quite even brush together.

She sighed. "I don't know how to explain it to you. But…it's how I arrived here."

I nodded. "I only want…" Wait. How the hell was I going to finish THAT sentence? What did I want? A lot of things, none of which I could actually say out loud to her.

"Only want what?" she asked.

"I only want…I want to understand why you're here, I guess. In my life. Because if I understand…then that makes it easier to separate you from the girl in the game."

I winced, waiting for her to be angry with me, but then…Monika smiled. Smiled with relief, with happiness. She closed her eyes freely, like she was dreaming.

It made me smile, too.

"In that case," she told me, opening her eyes again, "I will make sure I'm ready to tell you as soon as possible. Is that what's been bothering you all this time?"

"Ah…yeah. Sorry." I scratched the back of my neck. _Thank goodness she doesn't suspect anything else._

"No, that's okay." Monika brought her hands down from her chin and put them over mine, causing me to start. They were soft and well-shaped. Her nails gently scraped my skin. "I think you to deserve to know soon, anyway."


End file.
